Sunday, January 11, 2015

New Meaning to Self-Care

On October, 24, 2014, life changed for many people. Ours was a community that thought that a school shooting would not happen. It did. I knew three of six that were involved. I don't want to overstate my involvement. I was an outsider to all that transpired. It was not my family. I still grieved. The three boys I knew were students when they were little boys (not that many years ago). I had real conversations with them, real connections with their family. And now 2 of those boys no longer walk this earth. It is heartbreaking for me, the outsider. I can't imagine the level of grief that their family is experiencing. I continue to work with little ones who go to school and try to understand what's happened in their little elementary bodies and brains. I don't understand.

I hug my own children with increased fierceness. There are no guarantees. I am lucky to celebrate a 16th birthday. Other families will not have that celebration. The holidays have been mixed sense of deep appreciation along with sad remembrances. Life is changed--even for me, the outsider.

Self-care has taken on new meaning. I know that stress has detrimental effects, but my body is feeling it daily.  I struggle to focus. I'm tired, a lot. My doctor says that my adrenal glands are in bad shape. My body is becoming acidic. So, I'm trying a few new things. I am listening to Eckhart Tolle continuously and trying to be present. I breathe. I move. I do yoga. I've added weekly acupuncture. If I'm not healthy, I can't help anyone else. That's my goal--to be healthy in the space of others and remain healthy. There can be no other goal. I believe that others who need something from me will reverberate health in my presence. It's the best that I've got for now.

So, blogging has taken a back seat. I've resisted writing about it. I don't want in anyway for it seem that this is about me. I respect the families and community as they grieve. I'm just the outsider giving my perspective.

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